elenachang

Sunday, January 14, 2007

God, it's been so long since I wrote here.
I have gained all the pounds I lost since January last year and that's what's killing me most these days besides lack of acting opportunities. Yes, I know I can do it again if I am determined to do so. However, I just can't pull myself together or I don't want to. My husband life is not going well, either, so we seem to go down the drain together...

I find myself increasingly not wanting to go our or meeting anyone. I don't look too dreadful objectively, but I just hate to look at myself in the mirror. My surgery in July was the initial culprit of gaining weight back; I couldn't exercise for weeks and the frustration and pain made me binge on carbohydrate, which is my reason to stay plump all those years. Yes, I am fully recovered from the surgery, but my mindset refuses to go back to my old regimen. I am too comfortable, obviously.

Oh, I am babbling 'cause I know that nobody will see my blog, anyhow. In this age of Youtube and Myspace, who has time to check a worse-than-plain-looking blog like mine? It's nice to have a hole to vent through, though.

I feel so restless, so I will sign off now.